The Real Price We Pay For Having "Nice Things"

I will be the first one to admit that I do very much enjoy and appreciate “nice things.” However, over the years I have realized more and more what is worth stressing over and what, in the grand scheme of things, is not. As many of you know, we have four young and energetic children. When it comes to our expectations for their behavior in our home we most definitely set boundaries in regards to where it is and is not appropriate to play. For example, for whatever the reason they all LOVE to destroy our bed; make forts, rip off all of the covers, hide, jump, and quite frankly it drives me nuts. So we do not allow them to play on our bed, but always pitch it to them as a safety concern. “Jumping on the bed isn’t safe, this is not a place for you to play.” This is just one example, of how we set boundaries in terms of their behavioral expectations and items or rooms in the home. But when do these expectations and boundaries become extreme?

In my opinion, if one spends so much energy stressing and worrying about “things”, I believe it takes away from the things in life that do really matter. A couple of weeks ago, our youngest daughter Teagan who is 21 months old wedged herself behind a side table in our living room. I was in the kitchen and was peeking in on her and she was originally just looking out the window, but those of you familiar with toddlers know they are quick! Needless to say when she wedged herself behind the table she knocked over a VERY heavy Pottery Barn lamp that sits on that table. The lamp then knocked over a small artificial plant that was also on the table. The end result was a smashed plant/planter, and a good indentation in the wood floor from the iron based lamp. When my husband came home I showed him what had happened, he looked at me wide-eyed, assuming I was upset about the floor and plant. My response to him was, “the baby thank goodness didn’t get hurt, no glass was broken, the lamp is fine, and I don’t care about the floor, we have four kids and we LIVE here.” I think he was surprised by my laid back reaction, but the key phrase there, that I always tell myself is, “WE LIVE HERE.” For me “living” is having a home where everyone feels comfortable and welcome, having a home and not a museum, having a home that is the house that all of my children’s friends feel welcome and want to “hang out” at. Of course boundaries are important and I am not suggesting I let my kids run a muck and swing from the chandeliers, but if emphasis is constantly being put on the importance and protection of “things”, that for me is not what I want to be instilling in our children. I often have to take a step back and ask myself if what I am stressing about REALLY matters. People matter, relationships matter, feelings of comfort and safety matter, perfect hard wood floors….do not matter.

I try to put things in perspective by imagining what my mindset would be 20 years from now. If I walked around this house in 20 years I would find indentations in my floor from a sneaky 21 month old, scratches on my coffee table from an 80 pound bulldog who was always looking to steal a snack, sticker residue all over the kids bedroom walls, divots on my counter top from the time my father chopped open a coconut without using a cutting board, dents, dings and imperfections galore. But I highly doubt I will look at those things and be angry, annoyed or put out by them. I will likely look at them and reminisce the days those little “mishaps” occurred, the memories those imperfections hold and the life I lived here with my family and friends, and to me those are the things that are priceless.

xo,

Nicole